Sunday, December 25, 2005

Ilana's New Religion

I have had a wonderful Christmas: I relaxed, watched TV, made a gingerbread house, and received emails and phone calls from all over the country, a couple from folks I haven't heard from in a while. My kind of holiday. =)

Those of you who know me well know that I find religion to be more of a divisive entity than unifying. To me, religion is about being with or speaking with friends and family...and eating.

I thereby am going to start my own religion. The religion will be centered on the traditions of various nations and creeds. Therefore, the celebrants will be able to eat latkes on Hanukah, duck on Christmas, and whatever it is they eat on Canada on Boxing Day. Of course, all feasts are optional. The key is to select those that will enable the greatest sharing of food with the largest group of friends and family.

As for the rules that govern the people of this religion, they will boil down to this: Treat others as you would want to be treated, or as you would want them to treat your parents, children, and friends.

I think that simple rule takes care of most of the commandments (who would want to be murdered? Or robbed? Or dishonored? Well, all except those that pertain to worship, I guess.) The focus would be on the unity of people and of people treating one another with respect.

Congregants can choose whether they would want to incorporate the traditional religious element of a diety; my theory is that like a parent, God (or gods, for those coming from multiple diety religions) would be happy to look down and see us all respecting one another rather than being jerks all the time (see Route 128, any time of day... Would you flip that man off if he was your father?) Therefore, it would be possible to remain Jewish or Christian or Muslim and still partake in feasts covering the other traditions.

Anyhow, those are my semi-sacreligious thoughts for this Christmas night and Hanukah eve. I am currently considering naming the religion Mishteh, from Hebrew meaning "Feast." Any other suggestions (for the religion name, rules, or whatever?)

How much fun would it be to have a religion centered on friends and family and food rather than on stories of death and destruction? Oo...and if there are sports on TV, so much better for the family to bond around. Okay, I'm done. Flame away.

1 comment:

Yoav said...

Mishteh? I've never heard that word, although a similar one ("mishta") means beverage.

I like your idea, it's nice: you should start a charitable foundation for its advancement and become its president, so that you have a business card that says you're a president of something ;)

Also, don't forget Festivus!