Real Quick Rant

I have to do a big briefing at 3:00, but figured I'd blog about this real quick:

Last night I went to my softball game. I was happy to be playing because softball always calms me down. Wait, did I write "always?" I meant "always except last night."

One of the guys on the team was insisting on playing with three fielders and a short fielder. Most softball teams play with four fielders (left, left-center, right-center, right). My reasoning for playing with four is that if the ball gets to the short fielder, it's already a base hit. The team also incurs the increased liability of opening up many more gaps in the field for the other team to shoot for. Short fielders bring nothing positive.

Four fielders, however, closes the gaps and allows for more mobility. A player can always run up on a ball. It's much more difficult for a short fielder to chase one back (it's called "momentum of the ball," people).

ANYWAY, one of the guys on the team insisted on having a short fielder. When I objected, he became very condescending. Some highlights of our conversation:

Him: "Listen, Ilana. I've been playing baseball for thirty years now."
Me: "Wait, how old are you?"
Him: "Twenty-nine."

Seriously, you can't make this sh*t up.

Me: "Um...I know I might be an MIT nerd, but that math doesn't add up."
Him: "Well, I've been playing since I was four."
Me: "I think that equals twenty-five years."
Him: "You should do stats!"
Me: "I did do stats. At Sports Illustrated. For five years."

This guy also does not know how to keep a scorebook. When he "slid" poorly into a base, I asked him (jokingly) how he had managed to play division one baseball, but could not slide or keep a book. He told me he could slide, and that he never sat on the bench long enough to do the book. I reminded him that true baseball fans care enough about the game to uphold its traditions and understand its scoring.

His division one school, btw, was Niagara. Should I tell him I lettered in football for a D-1 school? I got a letter from Dartmouth for managing the team.