I left my condo in Chucktown at 6:45 for my 8pm softball game. after a quick stop to get gas, I was on my way to West Roxbury. In a typical Ilana move, I had printed out the directions--including turn-by-turn maps--from Mapquest. In an even more typical Ilana move, I left the last page at home.
So I am driving through some neighborhoods that I never even knew existed... Long story short is I got horribly lost and had to call Dan to navigate me through. I finally arrived at Collens field at 8:15. Of course, my game was at Billings field, but the website said to go to Collens and it was easy from there.
There was a game on, so I asked a guy on the bench how to get to the next field. He was all excited as he had grown up in the neighborhood. He gave me very detailed instructions which turned out to be DEAD WRONG. So I got lost again. And, of course, in Ilanaland, when we get frustrated, we cry.
<- MOM READ THIS...EVERYONE ELSE SKIP ->
Of course, my crying stopped as I admired the mansions and beautiful people in the new and gorgeous neighborhoods through which I drove. People everywhere smiled and waved at me. It was like the land time forgot, where everyone is friendly and happy. Lots of handsome, Jewish, successful men motioned politely to me from the Jaguars and gave me their phone numbers, requesting that I call for an evening out at Synogauge and a movie.
At the end of the drive, I was so relaxed that I went home and had a glass of Chardonnay before a quick bath and bed.
<- /MOM READ THIS...EVERYONE ELSE SKIP ->
< - EVERYONE ELSE READ THIS...MOM PLEASE DON'T ->
So I'm driving through some $hitass neighborhood, crying, trying to find my way to the field or home.
I finally turned came to a street I'd been on earlier, and found my way home. I arrived back in Chucktown at 8:56pm, over two hours since I had left. I had driven over 37 miles. I started a bath running, broke my no-alcohol diet with a Miller Lite (I NEEDED a softball-type beer), and soaked away Dorchester, Roxbury, Mattapan, and other ickiness in the jacuzzi. Much better.
<- /EVERYONE ELSE READ THIS...MOM PLEASE DON'T- >
So, I am getting GPS this weekend. I would have gotten it tonight, but I spent so long being lost that BestBuy was closed by the time i got home.