Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Technological Breakthrough!

Like Mork from Ork, I have begun to reverse my aging process. The signs:

1. After school, I want to watch cartoons. Instead, I am forced to do homework or go outside and play.

2. I am further away from getting married than even before, after being closest in 1998, with a lesser peak followed by rapid descent in 2003.

3. Like my "torrid" relationship with one Justin Blumenstel in sixth grade, dates end with a peck on the cheek and my subsequent run out the door.

4. Dude! For some ungodly reason, I am breaking out like a teenager! My face seems to think we're 13 again (well, except for the stupid worryline across my forehead).

5. I eat way too many animal crackers.

6. I bring make-up to school and put it on in the bathroom there rather than at home (used to try to avoid mom seeing ;))

7. Did I mention the zits? Seriously!

8. My clumsiness has actually gotten worse lately! I'm almost back to pre-pubescent levels. I almost severely injured a co-worker today when I lost control of some silly putty (sorry, John!)

9. Many things that I have learned over the years have fallen out of my head, leaving my brain at about a sophomore-year-of-high-school level.

10. My fingernails are short again (mostly because I'm nibbling again! Haven't done that since high school!)

11. Random people I see with kids seem older than me, even though I'm sure most are younger.

12. My ass has become perkier (just kidding. I wish...so sad....)

13. I'm back to dreaming that my true career choice is ballerina.

14. My tolerance for alcohol is back to where it was when I was 16.

15. I find myself wishing for a boyfriend. Using that word. I haven't liked or used the word "boyfriend" since I was a freshman in college. Somehow it has jumped back into my lexicon. (When I was young, I used to wish for a boyfriend who was "cute and popular" on every eyelash blown and star fallen. Embarrassing to admit, but true. At least I have slightly better standards now: cute, popular, and rich! Just kidding. My experience actually shows better results when he is none of the above =))

16. I'm not listing being immature, thinking bodily noises are funny, and eating Cocoa Pebbles here because I have always done those things.

What do y'all think? (And don't say this is all just a ploy for me to deal with my breakouts!)


Superhero Bob said...

I here ya about the clumsiness...I never seemed to have gotten over it....

Yoav said...

Ilana and xxx sitting on a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g ;)

Pope Benedict XVI said...

Great ideas.

Mane the Mean said...

Yes, MIT is good for health.

I have not been this happy,
had so little stress, had as
much nice exercise, read so
interesting text, and had
extraordinary interesting
discussion for many many

I will not leave this place
for many years to come.

And, yes, I have not used almost
any alcohol this year.

Old Drone said...

Was that Justin Blumenstiel from Sharon that you referred to ?

Ilana said...

Why, yes! That is the Justin B to whom I refer.